New year: New Breakthroughs & New Challenges

Vulnerability. That is what writing is all about. And that is what this entry is about. I have always wondered if I’m still going back to writing about autism because writing about my child’s condition requires me to become vulnerable again. Like an actor exposing his tears on a big screen for all the world to see.

Autism has been a struggle. The past year had been a series of ups and downs.  There have been breakthroughs and challenges yet his condition still continues to be an enigma. New episodes are coming out and additional therapies has to be made.

My son has a lot of sensorial issues. There are certain voices he doesn't like to hear and certain people he dislikes in certain situations. In short, he has a lot of stuff he has to deal with and it’s up to me to find out solutions for these.

We may be having his first plane ride soon. I don’t know how he will respond. How he will respond to the sounds of an aircraft engine running at takeoff or react to the sounds of the flight attendant's voice. I read some articles about preparing a child with autism for his first plane trip and I feel agitated already. It’s like preparing for a military strike or a stealth operation. I have to know what my back-up plans are and my exit points. Maybe I could have some medication on hand like Benadryl or in case we’ll be kicked off the plane, find the nearest port.

And why would I even attempt it, this plane ride you ask? Am I insane or something? Maybe. Because if I don't do it, push his limits then this condition wins and I don't like losing. I won't let it triumph and trap us not to do something different, exciting or adventurous. I won’t accept it.

I want my son to be familiar with a plane while he’s still young because it will be harder to wrestle with a 16 year old if this plane ride will be done later. Besides, I have attempted to have him watch a movie last year even if earlier opinions about it are not exactly encouraging. And it was successful. He may have ran in front at one point and have asked me to go out when the trailers got annoying but he finished the movie. Even if it means he was bouncing off my lap because he found the foldable seats weird. Maybe watching Finding Nemo on a big screen once in a park worked. Or maybe the guardians were with me that time because it was the movie, The rise of the Guardians.

I will be visiting the Developmental Pedia again. Telling him some of his progress and hiccups and maybe some therapies will be suggested. Anyhow, another challenge before the coming plane ride is his having a dental procedure soon.  Two of his permanent teeth are already coming out in front while his milk teeth have yet to come off. So a visit to his regular pedia will be done to confirm that he is physically ready for the procedure then confirm a procedure date with his Pedia dentist. And it’s a little scary because it’s a form of surgery meaning he would have to be put into sedation. And I’m also afraid that if he is inflicted some pain by the dentist, he would remember and we won’t be able to go back again to have his teeth checked and cleaned.

So here I am, writing about the challenges with a child with autism. Yes, I blog about food, books, movies. But blogging about my thoughts, my anxieties about this condition is harder. Still, there’s a part of me that wants to share it to others. Because writing about it not only eases a little tension in me, but it is my way of reaching out to fellow parents like me, with children with autism, by letting them feel that they’re not alone in this struggle, that we are all "brothers in arms".  Because sometimes, it can be isolating because not  many people can understand it. More than that, writing about it would hopefully let others realize how difficult it is for parents like us and not make fun of our kids or let their kids make fun of ours.

I like what one project of the Autism Society of the Philippines is now campaigning for, 1Pangako, http://autismsocietyphilippines.blogspot.com/p/a-promise-to-end-joke.html . They are advocating not to use the word "autistic" as form of a joke or a form of ridicule out of respect for individuals with autism or parents with children with autism who are living through it. This is such a great step for advocating the rights of individuals who have no way of defending themselves against people who know nothing about the condition yet continue to make fun out of it or bully people with a condition such as this.

It is indeed a New year. Hopefully despite  vulnerable topic, I could still regularly update this blog. I sure hope so. Okay..I will :)