When the rains come

There are posts that are hard to write. And this is one of them. It’s not easy write posts about your child who has autism. Last week, the clouds began to spurt rain after a dry summer. And my son had his hands on his ears, screaming and hiding on my back and crying on my hair. I’m not sure if he hates the sound of the rain or the thunder that comes with it. I think it’s more of the thunder because he associates the rain with it.

Honestly, it’s easier to write about food, books, movies than write about what ails my son. It’s different, it’s personal and I feel powerless. It's near to home. Okay, it is home. Because how can I stop the rain from falling or the thunder from happening? I wish I was Thor or friends with him so I can ask him to bring the thunder somewhere else because my son doesn’t like it. But unfortunately, I can’t. I have to deal with it, my son too.

I just came from the ballet and it’s half past midnight. I can’t sleep. I have to write this post because it has been overdue like a paper you don’t want to start, a diet you want to postpone. But it’s been burrowing in my mind for so long, something is nagging me to write it and update my neglected blog as I call it. Because when the heavens poured last week I had been in hell from the screaming and howling that lasted for an hour. Part of me wants to share it so others who are also going through the same thing will feel that they're not alone in this.

Anyway, my sister and I tried going out with him on the rain, letting him touch it and I thought it worked since we were outside and it drizzled. But when it rained harder he still covered his ears and whined. Still, I'm thankful for my sister for trying :) Then surprisingly one day, when it was pouring, he just stopped covering his ears while watching cartoons and he became accustomed to it. I was so happy. But the sun was out the next day. So I’m not sure if he really had been “cured” from his irrational fear. I’m afraid he’ll revert back to his screaming banshee ways when the rains come again. Oh no!

How can something so ordinary, so common can upset him? I don’t know. It's part of the disorder, I think, when sounds seem to be filtered differently to them. I try not to let it get to me but when someone’s screaming at your ear, it’s hard not to feel the blood rush to your head and not feel a migraine or a vertigo coming. 

If the rains come again, I have to be prepared. I can desensitize him now by letting him watch the rain on youtube, explain to him through pictures what the rain is or read stories about the rain. This is easier than done but I'll try. Of course, with lots of prayers on the side.

P.S.

It’s been weeks and his teachers in his mainstream school have helped him cope. He has stopped covering his ears and doesn't seem to mind the rain that much anymore. Hopefully, it would be a bit better from here on.