Autism Stress comparable to Combat Stress

" Parents of children with autism understand they endure constant stress, fatigue, and pressure, but they may not realize its severity or potential effects. In fact, a 2007 study from the University of Wisconsin-Madison found that mothers of adolescents and adults with autism experience chronic stress comparable to combat soldiers...." (p. 41, The Autism File magazine. Fall 2011)

I can relate to that. But for me, it applies not only to parents with older children but to parents with younger children too like me.

Lately, I have not been doing a good job being a soldier. I have been guilty of giving in to my child’s whining so as not to upset the routine he has for himself. I know it’s wrong but his outbursts and tantrums sometimes equate to a bomb explosion and the rain of shrapnels come in as rude stares given to me in a public place.

Yes, I get tired. Like I have recently. Bingeing myself on useless videos on the internet, reading juvenile blogs, wanting an escape. I know it shouldn’t but I’m only human. I get tired of the bombs. I get tired of the stares.

I know I need to wake up and start the fight again. I have to tutor him again, release him from his routine. I have to be this duke it out Amazon again because it is for his own good. It is tough love.

Summer vacation would be here soon and there would be no mainstream classes in a month. Of course, he’ll attend summer classes but still that one month would be a little brutal. I will have to find ways to entertain him or educate him.

I am a soldier and I get tired. It’s bad enough that I’m running away from the ghosts and challenges of writing and the now I have to get away from the hounds of autism. But I know I have to get myself together. I have to. It has kept me awake for many nights now. Somehow, when I sleep, the guilt pesters me, it mocks me, “You didn’t tutor him today, you didn’t write today. “ Damn, what’s a woman to do.

Dealing with autism is hard work. It doesn’t get better. They will get older, more symptoms will arise aggravated by the usual challenges of growing up. I need to step it up. I need to, For his sake. My writing will have to distract me, nurture me, keep me sane from the hounds. Because not doing so would make me restless. It will bother me.

I also need to have faith. Faith that I can go through this. It will take a lot of hard work, inspiration and dedication. And I will tell myself that I’m not alone. I may be attending Autism Society’s ABA workshop this coming March 31 to learn more about ABA therapy. I know it will help. So here goes the fight again.